news
apparently i failed my faithful readership (of one) for nearly 10 months, so i will make a sincere attempt to fill sara in on my activities and happenings of late. since last fall, the following things have happened to me...with varying levels of volition.
in february i went to visit my parents at their new home in Mesa AZ. i would share details and rave about the weather as it compares to that in MN, but i am still experiencing some PTSD over the parental abandonment. i can't talk about it. in fact, one of the initial impetuses (god, i want that word to be impeti) for this blog was that it could be my anonymous journal to share stories about my parents and pout about their choice to abandon me in the snow... those stories should all be considered "forthcoming"--as soon as i am able.
in march i learned the value of the text message. how did i ever live without this thing. it is designed especially for deviant and impatient folk (like me) who just have to tell someone RIGHT NOW about the dumb-as thing that someone else just did. i freakin love this thing! how many times before this year did i say to myself, "GOD i wish _______ was here!" or "i can't WAIT to tell _______ that ________ just mispronounced something!" yes i am that petty and pretentious. it's part of my charm. now i don't have to wait. like the time at my coffee shop when some old dude kept asking me about the "kaff-ee macho". i know i am going to hell for how funny that was to me, but that shit needs to be shared NOW. judge me if you will, you try to keep a straight face while the village people are singing in your head and you have to keep "speaking up" for some crusty dude with sandwich on his face. it's not easy. sometimes texting people makes me think of commercials with 14 year-old-girls who still believe the world is a good place and whose skin has not yet betrayed them pushing their little buttons in the food court of the mall telling their friend who is camping with her nuclear family all about the new boy she likes. text messaging keeps me young.
in june i turned 30. i started text messaging a lot more after that.
people are lazy. and by people i mean me. if i have even the slightest interest in reading a post, then i discover that it's pretty long...forget it. i truly believe that the likelihood of readership dramatically increases as the level of commitment to a given piece remains relatively low. it's true. ask around. it's especially easy with christians because of the universal point of reference. ask them if they've read the bible. you will learn that most of them have read job, ruth, esther, james, all the new testament firsts and seconds. they want credit for having read a significant NUMBER of the books, but who has time for things like isaiah? and speaking of numbers...my challenge to you is to find a person who has actually read every word of the book of numbers. members of the clergy and people with OCD don't count. (does anyone else see the hilarity potential of the end of that sentence? people with OCD don't count! oh my god, it's killing me. i need to make a t-shirt!)
i started all of that with the intention of ending this entry so people would read it . now it's long. no one else will ever know how funny it ends.
in february i went to visit my parents at their new home in Mesa AZ. i would share details and rave about the weather as it compares to that in MN, but i am still experiencing some PTSD over the parental abandonment. i can't talk about it. in fact, one of the initial impetuses (god, i want that word to be impeti) for this blog was that it could be my anonymous journal to share stories about my parents and pout about their choice to abandon me in the snow... those stories should all be considered "forthcoming"--as soon as i am able.
in march i learned the value of the text message. how did i ever live without this thing. it is designed especially for deviant and impatient folk (like me) who just have to tell someone RIGHT NOW about the dumb-as thing that someone else just did. i freakin love this thing! how many times before this year did i say to myself, "GOD i wish _______ was here!" or "i can't WAIT to tell _______ that ________ just mispronounced something!" yes i am that petty and pretentious. it's part of my charm. now i don't have to wait. like the time at my coffee shop when some old dude kept asking me about the "kaff-ee macho". i know i am going to hell for how funny that was to me, but that shit needs to be shared NOW. judge me if you will, you try to keep a straight face while the village people are singing in your head and you have to keep "speaking up" for some crusty dude with sandwich on his face. it's not easy. sometimes texting people makes me think of commercials with 14 year-old-girls who still believe the world is a good place and whose skin has not yet betrayed them pushing their little buttons in the food court of the mall telling their friend who is camping with her nuclear family all about the new boy she likes. text messaging keeps me young.
in june i turned 30. i started text messaging a lot more after that.
people are lazy. and by people i mean me. if i have even the slightest interest in reading a post, then i discover that it's pretty long...forget it. i truly believe that the likelihood of readership dramatically increases as the level of commitment to a given piece remains relatively low. it's true. ask around. it's especially easy with christians because of the universal point of reference. ask them if they've read the bible. you will learn that most of them have read job, ruth, esther, james, all the new testament firsts and seconds. they want credit for having read a significant NUMBER of the books, but who has time for things like isaiah? and speaking of numbers...my challenge to you is to find a person who has actually read every word of the book of numbers. members of the clergy and people with OCD don't count. (does anyone else see the hilarity potential of the end of that sentence? people with OCD don't count! oh my god, it's killing me. i need to make a t-shirt!)
i started all of that with the intention of ending this entry so people would read it . now it's long. no one else will ever know how funny it ends.
posted by shelly at 10/04/2005 08:38:00 PM
1 Comments:
I read it and I think it is funny. OCD is always funny.
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