yuck

today i am cranky and impatient. i haven't been like this all day, but it has been setting in for a couple of hours now. everything that happens kind of annoys me and i sense that the whole world is a very distasteful place. people who are happy are just too predictably happy about things that really aren't significant enough to evoke emotion. i have decided that those people are stupid. people who are sad seem pathetic and yearning and i feel like they should compare notes with real people with real concerns. people who play pretentious make me want to throw things at them. like the woman who needed someone to open her *twist off* soda because she's "just not very good with that kind of thing." what the hell is that? work it out, bitch. or the wealthy white men who don't think that standing in a line is really the kind of thing they ought to be doing. lines are for places like customs and ellis island. these white men have places to go and god damn ought to be able to get there quickly. i hate them. i like to slow them down as much as i can. when i lived in new york, i would watch them weave in and out of sidewalk traffic as though the concrete had been laid earlier that day just so they could get from the bank to the whole foods market. i would contemplate how a person becomes so ungodly self-centered as they step in front of (or on) children, women, families, strollers; cutting everyone else off with their proud strong shoulders totally unaware that they had just knocked lunch out of the hands of another human being or that their briefcase, no doubt full of essential documents, critical for the continued success of this country, had just destroyed an entire flower display which was probably a significant part of the day's income for the family-owned shop, as they brisked by. totally unaware, but disinterested as well. the world just gets in the way of these men. the rest of us should just have our own sidewalks built, i guess. once when one of these assholes walked right into my friend nikki, glancing but not bothering to acknowledge verbally that he had likely injured her, i kicked him in the back of the ankle. it was my sole moment of aggression in my life and i loved it. i wanted to push him down and then keep walking as if i hadn't noticed his existence, but in manhattan you can do anything you want except push a white man to the ground. people go to jail for that kind of thing.