things we did that were mean
every child partakes in some behaviors that would be frowned upon by responsible kind human beings. some partake more than others. i was an infrequent but effective offender.
- one time sara and i made a smaller child named myra eat pizza spices because somehow we were able to convince her that they were candy. she cried. sara laughed. and her mom called bette. i think we got in trouble, but i remember thinking: who falls for that? candy doesn't smell like green salsa and it doesn't look like seeds. she made that choice because she was dumb. that's not our fault. besides, sara thought of it.
- my dad used to fall asleep in his recliner a lot. he also snored a lot and often his mouth was wide open. that's just an invitation for deviance. i remember the day i imagined how funny it would be to wake up with something round and flavorful in your mouth. my dad did not seem to agree with my assessment. when he woke grumbling and spitting, the little orange cheezball, soggy with sleep drool falling from his mouth and tumbling down his chest, leaving a slimy trail of yellow #5 in his chest hair, he did not laugh. not that time and none of the subsequent times either. i think that was the first time he called me a "shit bird". i still don't know what that is.
- we must have been very nice children, because other than the masking tape in my brother's hair, which he deserved, i can't think of any more mean things. if i think of more, i will add a second "mean things" entry.
2 Comments:
I cannot buy that I thought of the red peppers. I couldn't have. I was a guilt ridden child as I am an adult.
Mean...Sean and Mike were mean. Remember how they took all the leftover lipstick samples and wrote mean things about Kristi all over the street as we watched. Maybe we were mean for watching.
they made us mean. you were simply reacting by targeting the next smallest. but for the record, it had to be your idea, because the peppers were in a little waxy pepsi cup in your kitchen cupboard, how would i have even known they were there? i don't remember a lot, but this memory is crystal clear. and you were guilt-ridden. so was i. that's why i remember. and the lipstick thing was out of control! but i think we thought it was a little funny. again, maybe just because it didn't happen to us.
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