melodramatic for a minute
those who know me are well aware that i am far too jaded and cynical to be too emotionally responsive to anything. and i certainly don't go about acting as though others ought to change something about the way they live their lives just because i have recently had some kind of insight or observation. but i am going to let myself do this because i have felt compelled to for over 2 years. my dream last night reminded me of just how much regret can linger over opportunities lost. i will never feel content with the fact that i never saw linda again after high school.
she was one of those people on the list of future contacts. i always felt her in my future. i knew we would connect again at some point and i would know her as an adult. an adult she so lovingly helped shape. it feels wrong to ignore the fact that i never got that chance and there are others on that same list. i have resisted letting myself feel or name this, because it annoys the shit out of me that people so frequently act as though it takes a sudden tragic death to remind them to be good, involved, engaged people. i do not intend to suggest that because linda died without my permission i now must live as though every person i care about and have lost touch with also may die at any moment. but i think that just for the sake of naming them, i will send loving and thankful thoughts and energy out to the cosmos for those whom i consider precious, wherever they are...
so, to:
chris r
russ w
kim m
jean r
jane r
collette s-b
patti and tim
donna and mark
mary jo and gary
sherrie b
diane g
terri h
caron k
matt m
scott and melissa
julie k
brenda jo h
wendy j
emily a
becky w
sherryl w
pam p
lois m
tim d
tom g
sharon d
sue ellen p
jeremy b
mary c
brian e
sharon c
scott l
nikki b
sherri o
kay m
leonard g
and the many people i have met and been changed by.... i hope that someday soon i get a chance to tell you how important you have been to me. my shyness and shame will prohibit me from ever contacting most of these people so i will do my best to hope that they just know. and to maintain thoughts of love and gratitude for the people whose character and presence shouldn't be forgotten.
she was one of those people on the list of future contacts. i always felt her in my future. i knew we would connect again at some point and i would know her as an adult. an adult she so lovingly helped shape. it feels wrong to ignore the fact that i never got that chance and there are others on that same list. i have resisted letting myself feel or name this, because it annoys the shit out of me that people so frequently act as though it takes a sudden tragic death to remind them to be good, involved, engaged people. i do not intend to suggest that because linda died without my permission i now must live as though every person i care about and have lost touch with also may die at any moment. but i think that just for the sake of naming them, i will send loving and thankful thoughts and energy out to the cosmos for those whom i consider precious, wherever they are...so, to:
chris r
russ w
kim m
jean r
jane r
collette s-b
patti and tim
donna and mark
mary jo and gary
sherrie b
diane g
terri h
caron k
matt m
scott and melissa
julie k
brenda jo h
wendy j
emily a
becky w
sherryl w
pam p
lois m
tim d
tom g
sharon d
sue ellen p
jeremy b
mary c
brian e
sharon c
scott l
nikki b
sherri o
kay m
leonard g
and the many people i have met and been changed by.... i hope that someday soon i get a chance to tell you how important you have been to me. my shyness and shame will prohibit me from ever contacting most of these people so i will do my best to hope that they just know. and to maintain thoughts of love and gratitude for the people whose character and presence shouldn't be forgotten.
posted by shelly at 12/12/2006 10:18:00 AM
6 Comments:
Hi - it's the guy from the computer service place. My blogger address is http://pensivepike.blogspot.com
Regarding your last 2 posts. Yeah. Live is pretty unforgiving about missed opportunities to say things to people that need to hear them or do things when the chance is there. Sucks. Life needs Tivo with edit. We could go back & re-do something better or differently, or take a whole different direction.
Carpe Diem has pretty much become my new motto and goal because of stuff just like you mention. For example, grabbing the chance to ask a friend to do something fun.
Pensive Pike
Okay, this post was great. All excellent thoughts and there is no need for apologies for melodrama. Wallow, my friend. I like nothing better than to get my melodrama on sometimes. On a lighter note, I liked playing the game, "Who are these people that influenced Shelly and can I guess?" I like to think that I can because for, hmmm, half or so of your life, I came in contact with some of these people too.
thanks for allowing my drama, sara. perhaps my next trip to mellowdrama, USA will contain a list of those very significant folks who were such a part of my life with whom i have not lost contact. you're at the top of that list, hun! p.s. went to GF last week and stopped to see carm. next time you are in the region, perhaps a blogger reunion?
I am in GF from Dec. 20-28.
Woo Hoo.... Sara, Shelly...let's ALL get together... What do you say? Fargo or GF? I'm there.
hrmmm...
it would have to be on the 20th. i leave for AZ on the 21st. what do you say sara? is your blog cult important enough to be among the first people you see when you arrive?
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