irritants
among today's minor irritations...
1. a news blip in the local paper informing me that two wal-mart employees had their nuptials performed in the workplace somewhere in one of the vowel states. why is this news? two years ago, two men got married in my backyard. is that news? the most troubling element for me-- this is not even the first news article i have read about two wal-mart employees marrying each other in the wal-mart store. you just don't forget stupid shit like that.
2. a very high maintenance woman tried to order herself some coffee today. she introduced herself to me by informing me that she tried to drink the coffee that was being served at her work meeting this morning and she "nearly gagged, it was so strong." i knew i was in for trouble with this one, if watery folgers was a problem for her. she ordered coffee and asked me to put vanilla syrup in it. then i nearly gagged. a few minutes later, her friend brought the coffee back to the counter... "we're trying to make this drinkable. she hates the taste of coffee." she asked me to add water and more vanilla. sick. there are some things these women should know... first, this cup of coffee was rendered fucking disgusting by virtue of being flavored by something most people associate with candles and aerosol air fresheners. adding more will not improve it. second, if you hate the taste of coffee, don't fucking order coffee. not rocket science people. that's why we have 4 full panels of shit you can order and only one of them is full of coffee suggestions. have a fucking glass of milk. vanilla milk.
3. i have previously shared with my reader my intolerance for perpetual mumbling. today a young woman came to the counter and ordered an iced latte. that part was clear to me. then she said, "yumanatwaskimmit, right?" "pardon me," i leaned closer, gesturing a problem understanding her words. "yumanatwaskimmit, right?" even quieter this time. "i still didn't hear you." "yumanatwaskimmit?" same volume. turns out this woman was trying to find out if it was my intention to make her iced latte with skim milk. it wasn't, so it was good that she asked. speak up and speak clearly people. next time i might just make it with half and half.
4. to top of the first half of the morning, just after yumanatwaskimmit left, in an ironic twist of events, the locker room announcer came in. (see post under title "the announcer") i was just about done with annoyances, so it was good that her only faux pas today was to be excessively grateful to me for leaving room in her coffee cup for some cream. really, lady, it isn't that hard to do.
1. a news blip in the local paper informing me that two wal-mart employees had their nuptials performed in the workplace somewhere in one of the vowel states. why is this news? two years ago, two men got married in my backyard. is that news? the most troubling element for me-- this is not even the first news article i have read about two wal-mart employees marrying each other in the wal-mart store. you just don't forget stupid shit like that.
2. a very high maintenance woman tried to order herself some coffee today. she introduced herself to me by informing me that she tried to drink the coffee that was being served at her work meeting this morning and she "nearly gagged, it was so strong." i knew i was in for trouble with this one, if watery folgers was a problem for her. she ordered coffee and asked me to put vanilla syrup in it. then i nearly gagged. a few minutes later, her friend brought the coffee back to the counter... "we're trying to make this drinkable. she hates the taste of coffee." she asked me to add water and more vanilla. sick. there are some things these women should know... first, this cup of coffee was rendered fucking disgusting by virtue of being flavored by something most people associate with candles and aerosol air fresheners. adding more will not improve it. second, if you hate the taste of coffee, don't fucking order coffee. not rocket science people. that's why we have 4 full panels of shit you can order and only one of them is full of coffee suggestions. have a fucking glass of milk. vanilla milk.
3. i have previously shared with my reader my intolerance for perpetual mumbling. today a young woman came to the counter and ordered an iced latte. that part was clear to me. then she said, "yumanatwaskimmit, right?" "pardon me," i leaned closer, gesturing a problem understanding her words. "yumanatwaskimmit, right?" even quieter this time. "i still didn't hear you." "yumanatwaskimmit?" same volume. turns out this woman was trying to find out if it was my intention to make her iced latte with skim milk. it wasn't, so it was good that she asked. speak up and speak clearly people. next time i might just make it with half and half.
4. to top of the first half of the morning, just after yumanatwaskimmit left, in an ironic twist of events, the locker room announcer came in. (see post under title "the announcer") i was just about done with annoyances, so it was good that her only faux pas today was to be excessively grateful to me for leaving room in her coffee cup for some cream. really, lady, it isn't that hard to do.
posted by shelly at 10/10/2007 10:09:00 AM
1 Comments:
Hurray, another blog! I love reading your writing. Because I read your blog, does that make me a blogger by association?
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