a girl needs goals
lately i have discovered a relentless pattern of energy deficiency. i lack motivation more today than i did in 8th grade when all of my teachers would call my parents and tell them "shelly is a very intelligent girl, she just needs to apply herself more." i didn't really get around to "applying myself" until college. i was very applied in college. it faded again by grad school and now i have no ambition to accomplish anything. it's not a sad, tired, depressed kind of deficiency, i just can't think of anything i really want to do. so i have been trying to invent things to achieve. so far, i have come up with very little. and i can openly admit from the onset that there is a very significant chance that my new goals are just a smoke screen to help me avoid all of the things that i know i should be doing. the things that matter to me deep in my soul and psyche-the things that intimidate me so much that i lose the ability once again to "apply myself".
my f
irst goal is to memorize all of the words to "One Week" by the Bare Naked Ladies. it's going to be difficult, no doubt about that, but i think i can do it. and before you start laughing, give the song another listen and check out the lyrics. this is tricky business! i'll keep you posted on my progress.
another goal that i am half-way to inventing is related to my body mass composition and requires some explanation. i work out at the YMCA regularly. for the sake of this post, i need everyone to be willing to agree that "regularly" can mean once or twice every three weeks. i have a motivation problem. we've already established that. so a few days ago, i received in the mail my brand new baby blue armband to hold my ipod nano in place while exercising. it is just about the cutest thing you've ever seen and i couldn't wait to use it. i learned this week that workout accessories can be a motivating factor for me. this fact evidenced by my two trips (saturday and monday) to the gym. i absolutely love going there and i would spend all of my time lifting weights if it were physically possible, but i struggle to drive myself to the gym. it is easier to sit at a computer and think about or write about how much i love it. moving on...yesterday my armband and i were in the fitness center (a room that strongly resembles what i know to be a weight room, but perhaps that term is too antiquated for today's young muscle heads) and i saw a flier that offers a body composition test. it had never occurred to me to submit to a test like this, in fact i flat refused them in high school, as this seemed to me to be information that no one else could possibly need. but recognizing my lack of motivation and know
ing very well that mirrors were not going to help, as i could give or take whatever the mirror offers, i decided that i could set goals if i had numbers. something has to entice me to move my body and since i enjoy both a slim firm physique or a bouncy squishy little tummy equally, i will have to rely on numbers. so on thursday i will learn how much of my body is made of fat and how much is muscle and then i will decide which direction to take my new goal.
i need a third goal. some people may be thinking: shelly, you need a first goal. you people can just shut up, these goals are real enough for me. i was thinking that for my third goal i would attend a writing class. again, something i have never done but always wondered about. what do they do there? is it fun? is it scary? do they laugh at each other? i am not sure if i want the answer to that last question to be yes or no. i don't think that i would enjoy being laughed at very much, but i also couldn't take the pressure of being in a context where laughing is not allowed.
so i began to consider the writing class (my favorite is when they are called "creative" writing classes. what kind of writing isn't? technical writing i suppose, but that already has an adjective in its nomenclature. everything else is creative so i want to find a class that calls itself a writing class.) it seems like a good idea. however i have to stop and contemplate: who takes these classes? what are they writing about and why? it seems embarrassing. and most importantly: to what end does one participate in a writing class? does everyone stumble in embarrassed and intimidated on week one and spring out the door, handwritten certificate in hand, on week 12 ready to submit to their publisher and looking for an agent? what do you do with the information and experience from a writing class? does everyone just want their journal entries to be more impressive? or are they hoping to finally get their letters to the editor published in the local news rag because goll-darn-it people need to know about the neighbor who shovels his snow too early in the morning or the traitor who refused to lower her flag to commemorate the passing of ronald reagan. these things are important! i am not going to take a writing class. i prefer to hide behind a computer monitor and post only to complete strangers in blogland. my plan to deny that i wrote any of this nonsense will be very effective since no one actually saw me do it.
i need a third goal. any suggestions?
my f
irst goal is to memorize all of the words to "One Week" by the Bare Naked Ladies. it's going to be difficult, no doubt about that, but i think i can do it. and before you start laughing, give the song another listen and check out the lyrics. this is tricky business! i'll keep you posted on my progress.another goal that i am half-way to inventing is related to my body mass composition and requires some explanation. i work out at the YMCA regularly. for the sake of this post, i need everyone to be willing to agree that "regularly" can mean once or twice every three weeks. i have a motivation problem. we've already established that. so a few days ago, i received in the mail my brand new baby blue armband to hold my ipod nano in place while exercising. it is just about the cutest thing you've ever seen and i couldn't wait to use it. i learned this week that workout accessories can be a motivating factor for me. this fact evidenced by my two trips (saturday and monday) to the gym. i absolutely love going there and i would spend all of my time lifting weights if it were physically possible, but i struggle to drive myself to the gym. it is easier to sit at a computer and think about or write about how much i love it. moving on...yesterday my armband and i were in the fitness center (a room that strongly resembles what i know to be a weight room, but perhaps that term is too antiquated for today's young muscle heads) and i saw a flier that offers a body composition test. it had never occurred to me to submit to a test like this, in fact i flat refused them in high school, as this seemed to me to be information that no one else could possibly need. but recognizing my lack of motivation and know
ing very well that mirrors were not going to help, as i could give or take whatever the mirror offers, i decided that i could set goals if i had numbers. something has to entice me to move my body and since i enjoy both a slim firm physique or a bouncy squishy little tummy equally, i will have to rely on numbers. so on thursday i will learn how much of my body is made of fat and how much is muscle and then i will decide which direction to take my new goal.i need a third goal. some people may be thinking: shelly, you need a first goal. you people can just shut up, these goals are real enough for me. i was thinking that for my third goal i would attend a writing class. again, something i have never done but always wondered about. what do they do there? is it fun? is it scary? do they laugh at each other? i am not sure if i want the answer to that last question to be yes or no. i don't think that i would enjoy being laughed at very much, but i also couldn't take the pressure of being in a context where laughing is not allowed.
so i began to consider the writing class (my favorite is when they are called "creative" writing classes. what kind of writing isn't? technical writing i suppose, but that already has an adjective in its nomenclature. everything else is creative so i want to find a class that calls itself a writing class.) it seems like a good idea. however i have to stop and contemplate: who takes these classes? what are they writing about and why? it seems embarrassing. and most importantly: to what end does one participate in a writing class? does everyone stumble in embarrassed and intimidated on week one and spring out the door, handwritten certificate in hand, on week 12 ready to submit to their publisher and looking for an agent? what do you do with the information and experience from a writing class? does everyone just want their journal entries to be more impressive? or are they hoping to finally get their letters to the editor published in the local news rag because goll-darn-it people need to know about the neighbor who shovels his snow too early in the morning or the traitor who refused to lower her flag to commemorate the passing of ronald reagan. these things are important! i am not going to take a writing class. i prefer to hide behind a computer monitor and post only to complete strangers in blogland. my plan to deny that i wrote any of this nonsense will be very effective since no one actually saw me do it.i need a third goal. any suggestions?
posted by shelly at 11/08/2005 10:43:00 AM
1 Comments:
I happen to like the writing class goal. I have that same goal, but I too have been afraid of the potential of pretentious English majors laughing at my writing, which would not doubt be more skillful and appealing than their own awkward fumblings. I hate English majors! Let's go together and fuck those bastard! Ugh! Like what! Keep it gangsta!
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