news
someone at the coffee house reads a magazine called "in touch". it was left in the kitchen last weekend and when i arrived on monday morning, i opened it to see just what this little publication was all about. apparently there is a whole genre of these weekly rags. they are called "gossip magazines". i knew nothing of this world, except that it is fairly common among people whose lives i don't understand to want to know what britney spears or angelina jolie did yesterday. for the life of me i cannot and never want to understand what that desire is about. but i am fascinated by the subculture of people who live for this shit. so i opened the magazine and read a few "articles"-- if we dare play so fast and loose with that term.
i learned that britney spears is preggers. as far as i can tell, this should only matter to britney, her family and maybe the social worker that she should have monitoring her life. however, my reaction to this news was dramatically different from that of-- well, of i'm not sure whom.... other people, i guess. here is how the article begins: "it was the news that shocked the world. last week In Touch exclusively revealed that Britney Spears is pregnant again." now, folks, i am a member of the world of which this author (whose identity i could not seem to locate on the page) speaks. now, i grant that i was not actually present or aware "last week" when this mind-blowing news was released on the unsuspecting public, so maybe i missed the moment and thus, my opportunity to be "shocked". but i have to look at the situation realistically, and i really believe that regardless of when or how i would have been informed, this news is not and would not have been shocking to me. with the exception of worrying about the potential shithole life this fetus might one day have, i don't give one good god damn about the fact that "Brit" as the mags call her, is pregnant. but in fairness, i should report to my faithful reader, that should you be interested in this situation, you can open to page 36 of this week's edition and see photos of actual text messages allegedly sent by the alleged father of said alleged fetus. have fun with that.
also, if you are dying to be told who looks better in which dress and with which haircut, this information is also available to you in "in Touch". i think i prefer to remain out of touch for the time being. even trying to read those articles as a sociological inquiry made me feel sick to my stomach. and made me even more embarrassed to be a US american. that might be the only thing "in touch" magazine has in common with NPR, in my life at least. whether i am learning of paris hilton's make-out history or listening to the Republican debates, i am embarrassed to be a part of this.
i learned that britney spears is preggers. as far as i can tell, this should only matter to britney, her family and maybe the social worker that she should have monitoring her life. however, my reaction to this news was dramatically different from that of-- well, of i'm not sure whom.... other people, i guess. here is how the article begins: "it was the news that shocked the world. last week In Touch exclusively revealed that Britney Spears is pregnant again." now, folks, i am a member of the world of which this author (whose identity i could not seem to locate on the page) speaks. now, i grant that i was not actually present or aware "last week" when this mind-blowing news was released on the unsuspecting public, so maybe i missed the moment and thus, my opportunity to be "shocked". but i have to look at the situation realistically, and i really believe that regardless of when or how i would have been informed, this news is not and would not have been shocking to me. with the exception of worrying about the potential shithole life this fetus might one day have, i don't give one good god damn about the fact that "Brit" as the mags call her, is pregnant. but in fairness, i should report to my faithful reader, that should you be interested in this situation, you can open to page 36 of this week's edition and see photos of actual text messages allegedly sent by the alleged father of said alleged fetus. have fun with that.
also, if you are dying to be told who looks better in which dress and with which haircut, this information is also available to you in "in Touch". i think i prefer to remain out of touch for the time being. even trying to read those articles as a sociological inquiry made me feel sick to my stomach. and made me even more embarrassed to be a US american. that might be the only thing "in touch" magazine has in common with NPR, in my life at least. whether i am learning of paris hilton's make-out history or listening to the Republican debates, i am embarrassed to be a part of this.
posted by shelly at 12/14/2007 09:24:00 AM
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