granola

i guess i'll start peeing on my garden. i have heard from a number of sources that peeing on/around one's garden tends to aid in keeping unwanted visitors away. unwanted visitors like rodents and bugs. a world with fewer bugs and rodents is an improved world in my book. besides i like the idea of being someone who pees in her garden. it seems so granola-dyke. i am totally not granola, but i do have a few characteristics of the granola type. for example, i eat soy-based and organic foods, i run around my yard naked and only occasionally shave the hairs on my body that are socially determined to be excessive. for these things i win granola points. for peeing in my garden i will get a lot of bonus points. however, i do wear some mascara and i kind of love lip gloss. i also insist on tampons rather than relying on a tiny toilet plunger to collect the tissue shed by my uterine lining. so i lose a lot of granola points. but i will still be a groovy chick for peeing outside in my garden. as long as i don't do it in front of people who aren't ready for that kind of thing. i wonder how many of my friends i could convince to pee in my garden. probably all of them.
all this talk of granola chicks makes me want to go back to the michigan womyn's music festival (see November 2005). it's a lot of body (and facial) hair and garbanzo beans at the MWMF. i bet a lot of garden pee-ers too. they probably don't even serve any produce that hasn't been peed on by at least 30 lesbians.
what am i even talking about? this is weird. i think i better stop now before i start to develop body odor that must be masked by a strong dose of essential patchouli. for the record... my garden only has flowers in it. no vegetables.