wild turkey

occasionally when i am driving down the gravel road that leads from my driveway to the highway, i encounter a small group of wild turkeys. this is an alarming experience to me because turkeys just don't seem like the kind of animals that should roam freely across roads and highways. when i see them roaming about it makes me wonder where i live. it also makes me wonder about the wild turkey population in my town. it appears to be quite high. it is also alarming because they are horrifyingly grotesque creatures. i am afraid of wild turkeys and i am a little tired of waiting for them to cross the road in front of my car. sometimes i wonder what i would do if i were ever outside and in the same space as a group of wild turkeys. it would be a surreal and freakish experience, i think. i have seen other wild animals roaming about while i am outside and i did not feel particularly frightened, but there is something about turkeys that terrifies me. i have never before discussed my fear of wild turkeys, because when does that opportunity ever present itself?
i sat with my friend troy tonight while we ate dinner and he turned to me and said "did i ever tell you about the time that my friend was attacked by a wild turkey?"
"what!?" i knew there was a reason to fear those bastards...they do attack!
then troy said, "yeah, it was the weirdest thing. she and her boyfriend were rollerblading (yes, he verbed a proper noun) on a trail by the river and they ran into a whole bunch of wild turkeys."
i am stunned. how terrifying. but i am also intrigued, it must be so rare!
"one of the turkeys must have felt threatened," troy continued, "and it jumped up and grasped her shoulders." at this point troy begins to flap his arms wildly, indicating that the turkey flapped its wings, simultaneously smacking his friend on both sides of her face. this makes the story all too real to me and i begin to cringe and beg him to stop talking about it. troy views this as an opportunity to disturb me a little more and he stands behind me and attempts to grip my shoulders in a fashion suggesting that he has talons rather than fingers. i am not very welcoming of this kind of interaction and say "no thank you, i think i understand." then i said, "i am going to go on break." and i came to this computer to write this post. because how many times in one's life is one just one degree separated from a person who gets attacked by a wild turkey? that's awesome! and i hope it's like winning the lottery...if it happens to someone you know, it will never happen to you!