tivo

i am sure that i have never mentioned before just how much i love tivo. love love love. after several years with almost no television whatsoever, i have learned to appreciate and also how to negotiate television preferences. there are currently so many options that i need a system to decide what and how much i can allow into my world. here are a few rules:

1. there can be no weak or annoying characters. this rule eliminates law and order:CI, an otherwise desirable program.

2. laughter must come genuinely, no laughing because i am supposed to. under this rule, that 70's show makes the cut, scrubs is out.

3. at least one character must be controversial--doing something or making a statement that is provocative. this rule welcomes HUFF and the L-word with open arms.

4. educational (if not provocative. best if both.) enter discovery and national geographic channels.

5. i have to acknowledge a sincere but shameful fondness for freakishness. hello discovery health channel.

6. i will allow gruesome crime scenes to be entertainment as long as they are also socio-historical in nature and presentation. hence my addiction to courtv.

7. pranks and hidden cameras are almost always perfect entertainment. however, the humor factor must supercede the discomfort factor or it is just agony. thus, girls behaving badly is on the tivo list, spying on myself has been booted.

8. finally, any show, no matter how stupid or predictable that has previously been excluded from the list as indicated by the rules will automatically be accepted when and if mariska hargitay or hank azaria guests or stars.