blue

i'm feeling a little bit sad today. i haven't had a sad day in quite a while but i am blue once again. it is almost fall. at summer's end comes back to school and in my world that has come to be signified only by local university faculty returning in small circles to the coffee shop. i was sitting at my computer updating my sidebar when i overheard bits of the conversation of one such table. phrases like "did you get a memo on that discussion group that is meeting on the 30th?" and "i want my students this semester to think about..." this language serves to remind me that once upon a time i was supposed to follow a very different path. i should be returning to school right now. i am supposed to spend my life in academia. but that's not who i am anymore. now i read books i've already read and update my sidebar and watch movies that also remind me that i once was an intelligent young woman. i am too young to let go of my dream and too broke to entertain it. i guess i'll go make an iced latte. that's important too...