grand buffet
some topics deserve multiple blog entries. some don't deserve it but they get it because i have a problem with occasional obsessive thinking. today we are going to discuss a few things that have come up before, but continue to present themselves as real-life issues.
adult acne.
in this recent time of strain and strife, my face has exploded into a horrendous terrain of weepy boil-like visitors in various shades of red, pink and mauve. they won't stop. i treat them: i scrub, i astringe (not a word, but totally should be), i create the most hostile environment i possibly can. i am in physical pain. the burning the flaking the tightness. they go nowhere, and they invite friends over to stay. i am f'ing repulsive and i wonder how others can look at me and pay any attention at all to what i am saying. of course, this might be assuming a lot. most people probably just stare in that train wreck kind of way, thinking poor woman! i would never leave my house if i had that going on. well, for the record, if i didn't absolutely have to i wouldn't leave my home. except to sit in my yard and keep trying my "sunshine clears the skin" theory. good thing i grew my hair out. who knew it would come in so handy?
which way? that way!
which and that? what is the difference, when should you use them? i have resigned myself to never being able to remember and always potentially using them incorrectly. i think i will look up the answer on a grammar site and see what i can find. (pause to search) well i did look up the rule online and reading the distinction made my head tip slightly to the right and my eyes glazed over a bit. its 101 degrees outside, i went to bed at 630 am after enjoying a bottle of malibu, and i ate some gross chocolate thing that is making my stomach feel like it is resting on my kneecaps. i just don' t think i care about this issue today. i think i know how to use them correctly. i need not try to explain it to myself.
i know that i am going to get smacked on the head for this, but i can't help it. we have to talk about my food fetus again. the fold is now so severe that i can feel the top fold and the bottom fold of skin touching each other. i could lose my cell phone in a crevice like that. i will be careful to not lie down on top of my phone and then move quickly to a sitting position. any number of things could get pinned. for a few days it seemed as though this problem was going to be corrected, but alas, it appears to be worse than ever. how much tae bo basic training boot camp does a fat girl have to do? you know how sometimes you get into an elevator with an out-of-shape person and they are wheezing because their lungs just can't siphon enough blood from the heart to function correctly. that's me. today and yesterday and probably every day. i can blame allergies and smoking and humidity and the fact that the air is so heavy it knocks small children to the ground, but the reality is: i'm too fat to breathe correctly. and i have been randomly accidentally biting the insides of my cheeks while i eat or chew gum. that is a sure thing sign that i have fluffed up a bit.
so let's review...
large open wounds on the outside of my chunky face.
bite marks and swelling on the inside of my face.
fat rolls that started to swallow my thongs so i had to switch to boy cut briefs.
dry stringy hair that needs a color update desperately.
wheezing and gasping after a 10 yard jaunt.
tell me again why no one wants to have sex with me? i can't remember.
adult acne.
in this recent time of strain and strife, my face has exploded into a horrendous terrain of weepy boil-like visitors in various shades of red, pink and mauve. they won't stop. i treat them: i scrub, i astringe (not a word, but totally should be), i create the most hostile environment i possibly can. i am in physical pain. the burning the flaking the tightness. they go nowhere, and they invite friends over to stay. i am f'ing repulsive and i wonder how others can look at me and pay any attention at all to what i am saying. of course, this might be assuming a lot. most people probably just stare in that train wreck kind of way, thinking poor woman! i would never leave my house if i had that going on. well, for the record, if i didn't absolutely have to i wouldn't leave my home. except to sit in my yard and keep trying my "sunshine clears the skin" theory. good thing i grew my hair out. who knew it would come in so handy?
which way? that way!
which and that? what is the difference, when should you use them? i have resigned myself to never being able to remember and always potentially using them incorrectly. i think i will look up the answer on a grammar site and see what i can find. (pause to search) well i did look up the rule online and reading the distinction made my head tip slightly to the right and my eyes glazed over a bit. its 101 degrees outside, i went to bed at 630 am after enjoying a bottle of malibu, and i ate some gross chocolate thing that is making my stomach feel like it is resting on my kneecaps. i just don' t think i care about this issue today. i think i know how to use them correctly. i need not try to explain it to myself.
i know that i am going to get smacked on the head for this, but i can't help it. we have to talk about my food fetus again. the fold is now so severe that i can feel the top fold and the bottom fold of skin touching each other. i could lose my cell phone in a crevice like that. i will be careful to not lie down on top of my phone and then move quickly to a sitting position. any number of things could get pinned. for a few days it seemed as though this problem was going to be corrected, but alas, it appears to be worse than ever. how much tae bo basic training boot camp does a fat girl have to do? you know how sometimes you get into an elevator with an out-of-shape person and they are wheezing because their lungs just can't siphon enough blood from the heart to function correctly. that's me. today and yesterday and probably every day. i can blame allergies and smoking and humidity and the fact that the air is so heavy it knocks small children to the ground, but the reality is: i'm too fat to breathe correctly. and i have been randomly accidentally biting the insides of my cheeks while i eat or chew gum. that is a sure thing sign that i have fluffed up a bit.
so let's review...
large open wounds on the outside of my chunky face.
bite marks and swelling on the inside of my face.
fat rolls that started to swallow my thongs so i had to switch to boy cut briefs.
dry stringy hair that needs a color update desperately.
wheezing and gasping after a 10 yard jaunt.
tell me again why no one wants to have sex with me? i can't remember.
posted by shelly at 7/30/2006 06:06:00 PM
1 Comments:
YOu are so hard on yourself. Sometimes I like to be hard on unsuspecting and totally unworthy things like...airlines. I hate them for so many reasons. High prices. The people I am forced to be near when I fly. Delays. Lost luggage...I could go on and on and will because it makes me feel better. Try it. Be hard on something else...you are a gem.
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