we know drama

i wrote an episode of Law and Order: SVU the other day. when i say "wrote" i mean that i sat on my porch smoking cigarettes and performed the role of the lead guest star. but i made up all of the dialogue as i went, so that is the same as writing. i was terribly impressed with myself in that shining moment. my dialogue, my gripping performance. my role was that of a tough, jaded, hopelessly enraged lesbian with a serious nicotine addiction, hanging outside of a girl bar on houston street. my encounter with benson and stabler was enthralling. i could hardly wait to find out what was going to happen! i decided that i definitely have to put this show idea on paper so i can keep tangible evidence of my own brilliance. then i decided that i shouldn't limit my creative genius to someone else's project-- i should think bigger. so i contemplated using my gravel-throated bitter dyke as the central protagonist in my politically polarizing forthcoming novel. so far, this entry is the only writing i have done related to this moving, dramatic nugget of literature. and of course, i rest assured that i will spend the next four years thinking daily about how incredible my novel will be. i will jot down ideas for chapters that become progressively more intriguing and inspiring, before finally tucking the idea quietly into the corner of my mind where i store all of the fading memories of unfinished plans and dashed hopes for things i wish i could have actually done. at least these things give me trifling opportunities to blogmock the person i am behind closed doors as well as the person i have never had any intention of being.