Tuesday, January 10, 2006

a christ figure and an old house full of sky-divers


i had a dream just before i woke up this morning. in this dream i had stolen a van from a very large man. i knew the man very well in my dream but he is no one real in my life. i stole his van and drove it 200 miles to my home. my home was somewhere near my real life home in minnesota, but the van route included a long highway that stretched high over manhattan. i was driving the van and looking down on the city. specifically i was looking for a gas station. the van was running out of gas i guess. i had no particular feelings about the van while driving over the city but later i had to confess to the man that i had stolen his van and i felt just awful about it! like worse than i have ever felt about anything in my awake life. i cried and cried and wailed out my apology to the man. i offered to drive the van back to the man's house and walk home. a 200 mile walk at this point in my dream, NOT over manhattan. the man only smiled and hugged me and said that he knew i had the van and that he was not mad. he knew i would bring it back. by the time he said this, i had a friend in the front seat of the van who was drunk and apparently had called the van owner earlier and told him we had stolen the van. the drunk person disappeared shortly after that, and suddenly the van wouldn't start. i felt even worse. had i broken the van? the man still didn't care and seemed to have some kind of magic fix for his van. and he was still smiling gently at me. then i was suddenly in an old house with a person who hated it because he was not the kind of person who appreciates things like old houses. to leave the old house one was required to scale up or down a slippery hill
and this added to my companion's distaste for the experience. one of my good friends (who also happens to be a former professor from my college years) was there with her husband, also my friend. soon after they showed up, i learned that we were running late for our sky-diving gig. when i heard this i became very frightened. i was afraid to jump out of the plane and this was upsetting and confusing to me because my real-life sky-diving experience sneaked into my dream and i remembered not being afraid last time, but this time i wanted to run away and hide because the idea was so terrifying. i didn't want to disappoint becky-the idea had been hers apparently and something about the dive was some kind of a gift to me so i had to go. in the street way below the old house there were people milling about having some kind of celebration that looked like new year's eve in antigua, guatemala. i planned to slide down the hill and join the party but i woke up before i made it out of the house. and i was very sad that becky wasn't there but very relieved that i hadn't actually become afraid of sky-diving.

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